Knowing for Pretty Sure
by maplemavis
Summary: Wherein Lucy decides she's a matchmaker. AU. Eventual Nalu.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

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Tuesdays are the worst. I know it's Monday that usually gets all the bad press as far as the days of the week are concerned, but I think it's just misunderstood. I mean, it's right after the weekend, so you've had a couple of days to relax and are as refreshed as you're ever going to be that week. Nothing is ever due on a Monday, so it's normally not stressful. Plus, you get to put together a whole weeks' worth of outfits. What's not to like? And while we're rating days of the week, I should add that Thursday is pretty great too. Wednesday reminds me of the Addams Family character, so let's say it's awesome. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday have their obvious appeal, but they're kind of like the slutty girls at parties that everyone is all over because they know that they can get some; although, Saturday is definitely the queen skank that let's everyone do whatever they want with her.

Tuesday, on the other hand, is _that_ person; you know the one, the obnoxious drunk that apparently has racial tendencies when inebriated and wants to start a fight with someone because they looked at his girlfriend the wrong way even though she's not at the party. Yes, that person. I mean, let's be honest, it's in the middle of the week, but not far enough in the middle to be able to say 'we're over halfway done' like you can with Wednesday. No, its' placement is exactly where you can remind yourself that you still have four more days until the weekend, and that nice little refresher you had from the last one is starting to wear off. It's almost taunting. Stock markets crash on Tuesdays. Ships sink on Tuesdays. People die on Tuesdays, like my mom, but that's not why I hate it; I hate Tuesday because it's a heartless bitch.

However, whatever problems I with Tuesday had to be set aside, at least for now. I was being summoned, meaning that my friend had sent a text asking to meet her at a bar. I could only assume it was sent to all the regulars, because my phone was still beeping every few minutes with responses. Either that or it was submissions to the selfie war that started a few hours ago. Sighing, I turned my phone on silent to stop the constant alerts, because I got too excited every time it happened. Like, 'oh my gosh, I got a text,' and then I realize it doesn't pertain to me in any way. It's the same type of disappointment that happens when you send yourself an email, see it in your inbox, and exclaim 'oh, an email!' only to remember that you just sent it to yourself. It's the worst.

"Careful, Miss." A fisherman called out to me, distracting me from my thoughts. I stumbled slightly at the sound, and he made some sort of strange noise at this. No doubt, he was worried that I was about to fall into the canal that I was walking along. I quickly caught myself though and gave the man a polite wave.

"I'm fine. Thanks!" I replied, but to be honest, I was thinking about how I wouldn't have faltered if he hadn't distracted me; after all, I walked this route almost daily. I couldn't really blame him though; he was just looking out for me, so I threw him a grin before continuing.

My heels clanked loudly against the pavement as I walked, and the orangey light of the summer, evening sun peeked above the buildings, silhouetting the street lamps. This deep contrast actually allowed me to spot my destination quickly, and a faint glow soon made its' way into my field of vision. As I neared it, I felt waves of familiarity rush over me, and before long, I was staring straight up at the characteristic, neon sign. Its' text spelled out 'Fairy Tail,' and I took a few moments to admire the sign and the nostalgia before entering the heavy, wooden doors. I hadn't been here since the beginning of the semester a few weeks ago, so it was safe to say that it had been far too long. Walking in, I could immediately tell that the bar was entirely the same; that is, the tables were carved out with years of initials and curse words, the broken speaker produced that familiar humming sound, and that distinctive, oaky smell seemed to emanate from the walls. At the same time, however, it was completely different; it was quiet—well, quieter. Fairy Tail had a reputation for being one of the rowdiest bars in Magnolia; in fact, most of the town locals had a tendency to avoid it, but it was a popular spot for college students. This quietness then was understandably disturbing. I guess I couldn't expect much from a Tuesday.

A few steps further, and my brooding on days of the weeks was brought to an abrupt halt. A few of the regulars at the bar had spotted me, and they proceeded to greet me with an assault of rather violent hugs. My favorite kind. I was passed around from a dark haired Warren to a lighter haired Max to a hulking man who proceeded to crush me.

"Lucy! Good to see you!" He greeted, squeezing me further into his chest, and it appeared that the term 'bear hug' was coined specifically for him. I had to admit though; this hug was significantly more pleasant than others he'd given me. Maybe it had something to do with the soft, cotton apron he was wearing.

"Elfman—Hi-"

"Hey sexy." Cana said seductively, pulling me away from Elfman, and embracing me rather suggestively; of course, she was already drunk. Her long, brown hair was pressed into my face, and some of it made its way into my mouth. I tried to spit it out, but Cana seemed to see this as an invitation to grope me.

"Easy girl." A nearby Bickslow laughed, successfully prying me away from her, and I took my chance to leave that area. I knew Cana well enough to be sure that her drunk, lesbian tendencies toward me would last most of the night, and the others would continue to pass me around like I was some sort of share bear they could project their emotions onto. Stealthily, I made my way across the bar towards the corner table, and even from here, I could see that there was already a large stack of books piled across it. A lone cocktail stood out on the edge of the table, untouched. I shook my head as I sat in the booth, because it was just like her to study at a bar.

"Lucy!" A head of blue hair peeked over the books, and its owner quickly gathered them up into her bag. It was a few moments before her petite figure was visible.

"Hey Levy!"

"Guess what?" She squealed, playing with the orange sleeves of her dress, and I could tell she was just bursting to tell me.

"You're pregnant. One of your professors is the father. You need an abortion." I gasped. "I can't do it, Levy. I don't know my way around a coat hanger—"

"Professor Babasaama offered me an intership." She grinned, completely ignoring my hilarious comment. "I'm going to study Indo-Aryan languages all summer!"

"Oh my God, Levy. That's great!" I said enthusiastically, and I genuinely meant it. I threw myself across the table to hug her, which earned me a laugh, and I was honestly surprised that I didn't knock over her drink. I mean, it wasn't like I was aiming for it or anything, but still.

This was a big deal. Levy was part of the Linguistics department at Magnolia University, and it was surprisingly cutthroat; in fact, it was just last year the she was part of a pair of students who were framed for destroying a manuscript from 400 years ago that the school had on loan. She and the other student, who was a history major no less, had to work for weeks to clear their names. Yep, Levy got all Nancy Drew; however, both found that they still had to rebuild their reputations within their respective departments, so Levy's professor _asking_ her to intern means that all her hard work is finally paying off. A small part of me—a selfish part—wanted to focus on how this would compare to my summer watching Netflix and dating a string of douchebags, but I quickly shot that down. This was Levy's moment after all.

"You're going to get tan and run off with a sexy, Indian man, aren't you?"

"I'll try not to this time," She laughed, "But you know how I love to bronze up and run off with foreign men."

"Do it, Levy! For all of us." I said dramatically.

"I honestly would, but I sunburn."

"And don't forget about Gajeel." I teased.

"You're right. Even if he's not there he'll scare off any foreign guy I meet. It's like they can smell him on me." She huffed, and her face expressed annoyance. I knew, however, that she really enjoyed Gajeel's company, even if she never admitted it. Maybe I should explain. Gajeel was the history major that was framed alongside Levy. Isn't that a great 'how we met' story? Anyways, I guess all the time they spent together made them somewhat romantically inclined. I mean, they were pretty much a couple, but neither of them wanted to admit that they were officially together. So now they're stuck in this weird relationship limbo, where they pretend to not care about each other, but secretly do. It's kind of like single mothers who insist that nothing is going on with "Uncle Jack" or whatever.

"At least you have the option to get some." I mused, and she promptly threw me a death glare, "Seriously, if you can't have your sexy, foreign man, go for the giant guy with piercings who's always around."

"He hasn't even tried to get past first base."

"Isn't first base, like, missionary sex?"

"No! First base is making out." Levy exclaimed.

"Oh, you're still on that. We're in college, Levy. We use big girl bases now."

"Oh please, stop acting so experienced. You've had the same number of sexual partners as I've had."

"Well, that depends. Is your number still zero?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay, then yes, that's true." I admitted, "But I have more experience in other areas, and that directly translates to knowledge of the base system—And, oh my gosh, delayed reaction! Gajeel kissed you!"

"Well," She blushed, "I kind of kissed him."

"Whoa, Miss McGarden, did you ask him first? 'Gajeel, sir, may I kiss you?'" I laughed. Levy was the most innocent friend I had. She hadn't even gotten past second base, and not college girl second base, above the waist second base.

"Oh, shut up."

"I'm kidding. How was it?"

"Nice." She smiled. "Very nice."

"And here I thought you two were 'just friends.'"

"We are—We were drunk each time-"

"Each time?!"

"It was only a handful of times." She clarified, "Maybe two handfuls."

I laughed, "So tell me all the details."

"I don't know. It's a lot of details this sober, Lucy."

"I'll get us some drinks then, and return this." I said, grabbing the untouched cocktail, which had separated. Gross.

"Oh, Mira's not here." Levy explained, referring to the resident bar maid of Fairy Tail, "That's why my drink is messed up."

"What do you mean? She's the one who texted us all to meet her here."

"I know. I've been here since I got out of school, and I haven't seen her."

"So who's—Elfman." I said, answering my own question as I glanced over at the bar. That explains the apron.

"Yeah, I say we wait it out."

"Agreed." I sighed. Tuesdays. "So internship?"

"Internship." Levy repeated, "We'll be in India for two weeks and then Sri Lanka for one. I'm so happy. I've been doing so much volunteer work within the department, and I offered to tutor after hours—It's just all paying off."

She continued to talk about this for a while, giving me a play by play of her plans. She even took the time to describe the phonology and characteristics of Indo-Aryan languages. Usually, she just glazed over this, but she was obviously bubbling with excitement.

"That's so awesome, Levy." I said warmly, "And here I've been watching tela novelas all day."

"Sounds pretty good to me."

"You know, it was." I said honestly; although, it didn't detract from my feelings of underachievement.

"Natsu says I should get a hobby."

"He's probably just hoping you'll commit arson with him or start a fight club or something." Levy snorted. Natsu, my best friend, was a particularly rowdy regular at Fairy Tail, and his tendency towards pyromania got him the nickname 'Salamander;' however, I called him 'Little Orphan Annie.' That was his name in my phone at least. You see, we're friends because we both know what it's like to have dead parents. We actually met at a cemetery. He walked up to me and told me a joke. He said 'You know, people are dying to get in here.' Can you believe that? Telling a joke in a cemetery- well—it's just bad taste. I laughed though, so that probably says more about me than anything.

"We've already done those things." I sighed, "And apparently making out isn't considered a hobby."

"Yeah, it's too bad you can't go pro in that." Levy said sarcastically.

"Right? I'm a great kisser, ya know?"

"Oh, I know." Levy laughed, no doubt, recalling my habit to kiss random people when I'm drunk; she had been the victim of this on her nineteenth birthday. "Anyways, I think Natsu would consider that to be an acceptable hobby if you did it with him."

"Well, of course; look at me."'

"Seriously Lucy, I'm actually surprised he's never been one of your 'flavors of the week.'"

"God, you make me sound like such a tramp; they're biweekly if anything."

"They're like paychecks." Levy laughed. She often exaggerated my exploits with men, but I guess in comparison, she was saint like. I was the closest to slutty she was going to get, "Natsu can be a paycheck."

"Me and Natsu are just friends." I repeated. This came up so often I must sound like a broken record.

"Like me and Gajeel?"

"No, that's different. Look, any possible romantic connections between established friendships can be analyzed using the Rachel/Ross Measure, also known as the Will They/ Won't They Scale in parts of Europe. You see, for two people to become more than friends, the level of physical attraction for both parties needs to exceed the amount of platonic feelings experienced within the friendship. The When Harry Met Sally diagonal emphasizes this fact. As the level of platonic feelings increases, the friendship moves below this diagonal, and this suggests that there is little chance for a romantic relationship; whereas, when the physical attraction increases, the friendship moves above the diagonal, and a romantic relationship may now be pursued. Also, people using this scale need to beware the friend zone effect; wherein, only one party crosses the When Harry Met Sally diagonal, and they are left to pine for the other person. Equally disastrous is the sprung zone; wherein, physical attraction beats out platonic feelings, but there's no real relationship. This is better known as fuck buddies. Understand?"

The look on her face told me that she didn't understand, or she thought I was crazy.

"Your face will stick that way if you hold it for too long." Erza interrupted. She sat down gracefully next to Levy, and her flowing red hair seemed to have its own personal wind cloud that ensured it constantly looked like an Herbal Essence commercial.

"Lucy was telling me something about platonic feelings and romantic comedies—I think-"

"The Rachel/ Ross Measure?"

"How do you know about that?"

"Lucy enlightened me when Jellal moved here." Erza explained. She and Jellal had gone to high school together, and they shared a long and complicated history that was never fully explained to the rest of us.

"See, Levy, you should listen to me." I grinned.

"That's the one where it only matters if the person is hot, right?" Erza asked, and my grin quickly faded.

"Pretty much." Levy laughed, "She was using it to explain her relationship with Natsu."

"Well, it's good you finally admit you like him, but I though you told me to beware the friend zone." Erza said. I gave her an incredulous look. That was good.

"Oh my gosh!"

"I don't like Natsu; we're just friends. Best friends, sure, but he's like my gay BFF—my heterosexual and/or homosexual BFF-"

"Don't let Natsu hear you say that." Erza warned.

"Hear you say what?" Natsu asked, standing before the table with two beer mugs. He placed one in front of me, and he held onto the other as he climbed over me to sit in the inner booth. I had to admit that this was mildly impressive, but he could've asked me to scoot.

"She called you her heterosexual and/or homosexual BFF." Levy explained.

"I told you to stop callin' me that."

"I was just explaining the parameters of our relationship." I said, ruffling his spiky, pink hair.

"The Will they/ Won't they Scale?" Natsu groaned.

"It's the Rachel/ Ross Measure now."

"Oh, it's evolved." He said sarcastically, "Does it still only matter if a person's hot?"

"Hey, you guys are lucky to have someone so knowledgeable around to guide you." I stated. "Without me, your lives would be a wreak."

Natsu snorted, "Is it easy to be that sure of yourself?"

"It'd be a lot easier without you bringing me down." I answered, and I'm proud to say he laughed at this, even though it looked like he was trying not to.

"Brat."

"Whatever. You think I'm adorable."

"I don't know about that." He grinned, causing Erza and Levy to laugh.

"Burn!" Levy said enthusiastically, high-fiving Natsu across the table.

"You live for this, don't you?" I asked Levy who grinned sheepishly. "And a good heterosexual and/or homosexual BFF would say I'm adorable."

"All the more reason for me not to say it."

"C'mon, Natsu!"

"I swear, Lucy, you need at least twenty compliments a day to live." He chuckled. "You're more maintenance than a pet hamster."

"A hamster?!" I squeaked, keeping a straight face for a few moments before we both erupted into laughter.

"Yes, I'd say you're somewhere between hamsters and intelligent birds." Erza said seriously, causing us to laugh even harder, and Levy burst into a fit of giggles.

Our laughter was soon interrupted by a commotion at the entrance, where the man—or should I say woman—of the hour appeared. Mira was standing in the doorway, her long, silver hair and the glow from street lamps outside worked to make her look extra ethereal tonight. It was only a few moments before the bar patrons bombarded her with questions like 'Where were you?' and 'Why are we here?' and 'Elfman ruined my drink.' Well, that last one may not have been a question. To her credit, she easily brushed them off and walked gracefully behind the bar. Once she started making drinks Fairy Tail finally gained back some of its normality. It was at this point that I realized most of the regulars had arrived, and I was surprised that I hadn't noticed the bar quickly filling up. More so, I wondered why Mira texted us here. We hadn't been summoned like this in months. Erza and Levy seemed to feel the same way, as they both wore looks of confusion. Natsu, on the other hand, simply grinned at me.

"A hamster!" He blurted out, mimicking my voice when I had said it, and the laughter started all over again; although, it lasted much longer. Even Erza was chuckling.


	2. Chapter 2

The night progressed, and it became a trend to try to figure out why Mira asked us to be here tonight. Throughout the bar, I heard a variety of answers to the question, and each seemed to get increasingly ridiculous. The idea that she may be moving, for example, to focus on modeling could be a real possibility; however, the idea that she's going to participate in a reality dating show seemed rather far-fetched. This somehow evolved into Mira becoming a porn star, but as her brother, Elfman, threatened to beat up anyone who suggested that, the theories returned to 'family friendly' territory. Our table reached the decision that she was running off to join the circus and added it to the betting pool. Oh, I forgot to mention this become a bet. Free drinks for a month to the winners. This sort of thing seemed to happen every time a group summoning occurred, and the reality was that it was usually something inconsequential, like a new pet or just wanting to get everyone together; however, you can't blame us for being creative.

"It just doesn't make sense. Why would she be an acrobat when she could swallow fire?" Natsu exclaimed. He was trying to convince us that Mira's circus talent would have a definite pyro edge. For some reason, we all took this very seriously.

"No, Mira's classier than that." I explained. "She'd totally be like one of those tightrope walkers or something."

"Fire swallowers can be classy."

"A girl swallowing anything for a living isn't classy." Levy countered, and it took me a few moments to compose myself. Natsu seemed to be at a loss for words.

"I agree." Erza added, "Mira is much more akin to aerobatics."

"Like Cirque Du Soleil!" I said enthusiastically.

"Oh, I love that!" Levy said.

"Me too-"

"More like Cirque Du So Lame." Natsu mumbled.

"It's so not lame, Natsu!" I said irritably, "Just 'cause there aren't any swallowers that you seem to like so much- See, that's why you're my heterosexual and/ or homosexual BFF."

"Don't call me that! And I just want to swallow fire. Whats wrong with that?!"

"Sounds pretty heterosexual and/ or homosexual to me."

"Stop it, Lucy! Should I remind you that you've swallowed some pretty questionable things yourself—Ow!" He yelped as I kicked him under the table.

"You're sworn to secrecy!"

"What'd you swallow, Lucy?" Levy laughed, and our attention finally shifted to the other occupants of the table who seemed completely unfazed by our bickering. To be honest, it was pretty commonplace.

"Oh, man. You wouldn't believe it. I had to drive her to the hospital-" The rest of his sentence was cut off by me wrestling him into a headlock.

"It was an accident!"

"You accidentally swallowed a—Ahhh!" He exclaimed as I tightened the headlock. At the same time, he grabbed my forearm and tilted his body to the side, so that I was now hovering above my seat.

"Woah, am I interrupting something?" A familiar voice asked.

"No, nothing." I answered, releasing my hold on Natsu's head once I was sure he wouldn't talk. I fell back into my seat with a soft 'plop.'

"Don't mind them, Gray." Erza said, "Have a seat."

"Sounds good." The raven haired boy answered, leaving momentarily to grab a chair. Erza and Levy, meanwhile, shot me curious glances, as if hoping I would just blurt out the secret. Ignoring them, I reached for my beer only to find the glass empty.

"When did that happen?"

"Somewhere between Mira running a triathlon and Mira running for President. We got on a running tangent there." Natsu grinned. He pushed his half empty mug towards me. Before I could take a drink, however, Gray rejoined us, and he proceeded to snatch the mug from my hand.

"Looks like the gangs all here." He observed, as he took a sip from it.

"That's Natsu's beer." I informed him, stifling a laugh and the effect of these words were instantaneous. Gray spit the beer in his mouth back into the mug and made a strange choking sound.

"Gross. Take it back." He scowled, placing it in front of Natsu. The two had a very strange friendship. They were very close, no doubt, yet at the same time they seemed to enjoy being at odds with one another. They were fiercely competitive and seemingly annoyed with each other's presence; although, I knew that the latter was a bit of an act. Why else would they hang out so much?

"No way. You already got your cooties in it."

"Cooties? We're not in second grade."

"You're the one who spit it out after finding out it was mine-"

"I'll just drink it." I sighed.

"Lucy, you don't have to drink his spit." Natsu said.

Erza nodded in agreement, "That's how sexually transmitted diseases happen."

"Well, I don't have any STDs." Gray said, eyeing Natsu.

"If I had an STD, Lucy would have gotten it by now." Natsu said nonchalantly, apparently unaware of the confused glances the other table members gave us.

"We share drinks a lot… and food." I clarified.

"And toothbrushes." Levy added.

"That was one time." I said, now kicking Levy under the table. Gray and Erza looked completely disgusted.

"I don't see what the big deal is." Natsu commented.

"Of course you don't, flame brain." Gray scoffed.

"Are you calling me stupid, ice princess?"

"Well, if it quacks like a duck."

"We're not talking about ducks here, and I don't quack!"

"You really are stupid."

"You wanna go, stripper?"

"Let's do it-"

"Settle down, boys." Erza commanded, and it was a comment to her authoritativeness that they listened. By that time, they were mere inches from each other with Gray lying across my body to get a hold on the front of Natsu's shirt. As it so happened, he had lost his own shirt at some point; it was one of his most charming habits, the constant stripping. I had to admit, it would be much less charming if he didn't have such a great body, and it was this great body that was currently positioned right in front of me.

"Wow." I said without thinking, and the shocked faces of Erza and Levy made me instantly regret this. I knew they would ask me about this later. Geez, I just like to appreciate nice things.

"Thanks? You're pretty wow yourself." Gray laughed, returning to his seat.

"Thank you, Gray. I really appreciate that. Natsu here won't even admit I'm adorable."

"Well, I think you're very adorable, Lucy." He replied. I gave him a huge grin then turned to stick my tongue out at Natsu.

"See, it's not that hard to admit." I told him. He responded with a simple eye roll.

"Well, Gray, I think it's about time you put your shirt back on." Erza suggested; although, it sounded rather forceful.

"Yeah, this isn't a whore house." Natsu laughed, seemingly content that Erza was scolding Gray.

"Whatever." Gray smirked, pulling the shirt over his head. Natsu took this moment to make a series of rude faces in his direction, all of which I found hilarious.

"What's wrong with your face, Salamander?" Gajeel interrupted, looking as menacing as ever. Whether this was caused by his extreme height, multiple piercings, or just the ever-present scowl—you know, it was probably all three that make him scary. Not that it looks bad or anything; in fact, the look kind of suits him.

"Nothing, but I can make something wrong with yours-"

"Do not start a fight." Erza chided. "We are here for a friend, so I expect you to stop acting like a child."

"Who wants cake?" Mira suddenly announced to the bar. It appeared that for some reason Elfman had brought her one, because I could make out the words 'For Sis' on written it. Without a second glance, Erza rose from her seat and made a beeline to the cake, incapacitating anyone who got in her way.

"And she calls me a child." Natsu scoffed.

"Oooh, I'm gonna tell Erza." I threatened.

"Yeah, you better watch out for bunny girl." Gajeel grinned. He was, no doubt, referring to the time I was invited to a costume party only to discover that the costume part was a joke. Everyone was dressed normally, in early spring attire, while I was dressed immodestly as a bunny. Needless to say, my friends never let me live this down.

"Oh my god, could we drop that already?"

"It was a costume party in March." Natsu laughed, "Who has a costume party in March?"

"I thought that look suited you."

"Gee, thanks, Levy."

"I still have the pictures on my phone!" Gray said enthusiastically, and he was already scrolling through them with the other table members. The next few minutes were filled with their laughter at the photos coupled with my silent indignation.

"Well, I'd love to keep making fun of bunny girl, but I need the pipsqueak here for some business." Gajeel laughed, gesturing to Levy.

"For what?" She asked, exasperated.

"Like I said, business."

"No way-"

"C'mon shrimp. You owe me." He stated, throwing her petite body over his shoulder, and carrying her away as if she weighed nothing. Levy, to her credit, fought back for a few moments, ignoring Natsu and Gray's teasing, but it soon became evident that this wasn't getting her anywhere.

"I'll meet up with you later, Lucy." She called out to me.

"Sure." I called back to her, but I seriously doubted it. From the looks of things she was about to get some strong drinks and make some bad decisions. Well, _bad _is a relative term. She will definitely enjoy whatever time she spends with Gajeel tonight, but I fully expected to hear her complaints about it in the morning. I continued to observe their interactions, and I must have looked creepy. Natsu and Gray were both giving me strange looks, and I could already hear the former saying his affectionate nickname for me, 'weirdo.' I threw him a glare before he dared verbalize this.

"Whatcha lookin' like a stalker for?" Natsu asked instead, and this honestly wasn't much better.

"I do not look like a stalker- I was just admiring the ambiance."

"Then why'd you have that creepy grin on your face?" He continued. Boy, he was charming as ever.

"I was thinking about food." I said, blurting out the first thing that came to mind. Fortunately, both boys seemed to immediately understand this.

"Been there." Gray stated.

"Yeah, we should order some nachos." Natsu grinned.

"More like double order."

"You're speaking my language, Gray."

"Yeah, I'll-" Gray stopped abruptly mid-sentence, and his whole body seemed to tense. It wasn't until I looked up that I noticed a blue haired girl wrapping her arms around him from behind.

"Hi Juvia!" I greeted cheerfully, ignoring Gray's pleas for help. It's not like she would suddenly stop on my behalf; in fact, she would probably try to physically harm me or humiliate me or something if I interfered. You see, she was slightly fixated on Gray—well, that's probably not the right way to say it, more like totally obsessed. When they met freshman year, it was love at first sight for Juvia but not so much for Gray- Well, he's never outright said he doesn't have feelings for her; he just generally ignores any affection she shows him. I guess I could see how that would make her hopeful.

"Hello, Lucy!" She responded, giving me her most winning smile, and it was a mark of our friendship that she did this. In the past, she would have accused me of trying to 'steal away her Gray' for simply sitting in close proximity to him. I know, she sounds crazy, and she kind of is. But she's also adorable and has a heart of gold and all that good stuff, which takes me to my theory that someone is only a creepy stalker if they're unattractive. If they're cute like Juvia, then they're just a mild nuisance.

"Hi Natsu." He said to himself. He was well aware that with Gray around, Juvia had a sort of tunnel vision; that is, no other boys really existed.

"Oh, hi Natsu. Juvia did not see you there." She explained.

"I know. Don't worry about it." He laughed.

"Guys—Help-" Gray begged, gasping for breath. I pretended not to see anything; it's a skill necessary for any member of Fairy Tail.

"Juvia, maybe you should let go of Gray," Natsu suggested. I snapped my head in his direction at this surprising turn of events; people generally left Gray to his own devices in these situations, and understandably so, as Juvia shot Natsu a look of death. "Because he's been talking about how he wants to go dancing with you all night."

Juvia's glare quickly turned into a smile, "Yes, Juvia thinks that is a good idea."

"Wha—No-" Gray spluttered as he was literally dragged out to the dance floor. I laughed at the sight of it. Like I said, mild nuisance.

"Whoa, since when can you handle Juvia?" I asked.

"I do hang out with Gray a lot, which means I hang out with Juvia a lot."

"Oh, he invites her along? This is news."

"He doesn't." Natsu stated, "Actually, sometimes we'll be hanging out for a while before we even notice that she's there. Like, this one time she appeared out of a pile of laundry."

"Oh, r-really?" I replied, attempting to keep a straight face, but within a few seconds we both burst out laughing.

"It was pretty awkward," He said between laughs, "And a little scary."

"She's lucky she's cute."

"Yeah, she's pretty hot, but that's how she lowers your defenses."

"When you say that, I kind of feel like you should be wearing an explorer outfit."

"This is the Juvia in her natural habitat." He said in a British accent, "The Juvia stalks the wild Gray, careful before she makes her move. When the time is right, she pounces, going for the kill."

"Yes! That's perfect!"

"The Lucy, on the other hand, will drink vigorously before selecting a mate."

"Well, that's a little too true, but I'll allow it." I laughed.

We continued this way for a while, switching from person to person within the bar, making random observations of their behavior. I was attempting to think of a way to plot out wild Laxus mating patterns. Obviously, they only mate during thunderstorms-

"Hey everyone!" Mira called, and despite her soft voice, she quickly drew the attention of the entire bar the way some people could. "I have an announcement to make." At this, the bar turned into a commotion, as patrons attempted to remember what they betted on. Elfman, banged his fist on a table, in what I assume was an attempt to regain order; however, it caused a deep crack to appear on the table.

"Tell 'em sis." He grinned. She paused; however, whether this was out of concern for the table or simply a method to collect her thoughts was unclear. She stood this way for a few minutes, but it might as well have been a few days. Surprisingly, Freed, another regular at Fairy Tail, walked out from the crowd and next to the silver haired beauty. He grabbed her hand and gave her a reassuring grin- but this didn't make any sense. I mean, they weren't particularly close, not that I knew of at least. Yet, they looked so natural up there together as if they were in on something. I racked my brain for everything I knew about either of them. The only thing that came to mind was the date I set them up on last year, but that didn't work out-

"So, we're together!" Freed smiled, and I took a swig of the beer in front of specifically so I could spit it out. Everyone else appeared to have similar reactions.

"And we're getting married." Mira squealed, lifting her hand to show off the ring, a gorgeous sapphire stone. I reached for the beer mug again; only to see that Natsu had beat me to it. At least one of us was on top of it. The bar quickly exploded in cheers and congratulations, swarming around the couple to get all the details of their relationship. The two handled it in a stride, and as groups kept calling them over, they ended up circling the bar to answer everyone's questions.

"So, you guys are together because of me, right?" I asked when they reached our table. Natsu gave me an incredulous look.

"Pretty much." Mira said sweetly, wiping that smug grin off Natsu's face. "Sorry we lied to you about the date going badly, but we didn't want too much attention while we're still figuring things out."

"No, I completely understand." I reassured her. "I'm just so happy for you guys!"

"Thank you, Lucy." Freed smiled.

"I was actually wondering if you'd like to be a bridesmaid-"

"Yes! More than anything! More than actually getting married myself!"

"O-okay." Mira smiled. I was probably too enthusiastic; it must be some sort of condition. "I'll let you know all the details."

"Sounds great!"

"Congrats again." Natsu nodded.

"Thanks!" Mira and Freed grinned, walking away hand in hand. They appeared so natural together. How did I not notice this before? I watched them as they talked to Cana who insisted on a very lengthy and rather touchy group hug, yet even this didn't seem to bother the couple. Laughing, they exchanged a look that made even my heart race. They were unquestionably perfect together.

"You have that creepy smile again. Are you enjoying the ambiance?" Natsu asked mockingly.

"No," I said, for the first time this night, swelling with pride, "I'm going to be a matchmaker!"

Maybe Tuesdays weren't so bad.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it so far:)


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to those who reviewed. Hope you enjoy:)

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Natsu teased me endlessly about my proclamation. This was followed by him begging me not to "seriously" interfere with people's lives. A few drinks later, he told me to do whatever I want, and I knew this was the best I would get from him. So I obviously took this as his blessing to set him up on a date. I already had a folder charting his interests and hobbies. I had to admit, it would be hard to find a girl that would excuse his tendency to cause fires or his disgusting eating habits. Seriously, he's like a savage. Maybe that's why he hasn't seriously dated a girl in so long, but that didn't make sense. I mean, it's not like he's terrible. Actually, he's pretty awesome. Like the way he always brings over doughnuts when I'm really hung over, or how he always lets me pick what we watch on movie night, even though he knows I always choose a John Hughes movie. I mean you can't get much more awesome than that. Yeah, he's a total catch, and now to convince some poor, unsuspecting girl of that.

Of course, not right now. I lifted myself off the park bench, tucking the files underneath my arm. Now was the time for me to get one of those really delicious popsicles. You know, the ones that are actually faces of cartoon characters and have bubblegum eyes- the ones that are really embarrassing to eat. Yeah, one of those! I tried to keep myself from drooling as I neared the ice cream stand, and it wasn't very easy. It didn't help that I hadn't eaten all day, but this would definitely have sufficient nutritional value, right? I mean, it has more than one color. That _means_ something. Anyways, I got my Spongebob Squarepants Popsicle rather quickly as the ice cream man had recognized me. I'll count that as a win. Lucy: 1. Life: 0. Of course, I completely ran into some girl as I began to leave, and this caused my Popsicle to splatter all over the ground. It was heartbreaking.

"Oh, I'm sorry mam- Lucy?!" The girl looked up at me, and I quickly recognized her. It was a girl who went to Magnolia University, and she sometimes even frequented Fairy Tail; although, I think the level of noise and rowdiness were a little too much for her liking. You see, she was extremely timid, and apparently, she was surprised that I walk around in the park like a regular person. Stars, they're just like us.

"Oh, hi Aries." I smiled,

"I-is that yours?" She asked, pointing to the melting pile of mush on the ground. Due to the way it fell, Spongebob's smiling face had turned into an expression of agony. Even the gumballs were cracked. Damn it.

"Psh. No, that's for babies." I scoffed, not willing to admit that I had liking for those things. I would never hear the end of it. Quick, blame it someone—anyone. I looked over and noticed a small, dark haired child close by, and pointed at him. "That one probably dropped it or something. Kids."

"Hey, I didn't drop anything!" The kid exclaimed. Well, there goes my brilliant plan.

"It's okay- We're not going to make fun of you. You know, I recently watched this documentary on bullying, and it's horrible- You stay strong."

"You're a liar. I saw you drop it."

"You know what? Why don't I _give_ you some money, and you can buy a replacement." I suggested, and with a quick nod to Aries I took the child aside. "Will five dollars keep your mouth shut?"

"I think I need ten." He said slyly.

"Oh, we have a would be extortionist. Whatever, take it, and I never want to see your face in this park again."

"I live right across the street."

"You heard me." I asserted, giving him the most glowering look I could muster, and I turned back to Aries as he sauntered away. "Ah, kids. Ya know?"

She chose not to respond to this, and instead, she eyed me curiously, as if she was trying to make up her mind about something. I was pretty confident that it wouldn't reflect positively on me; after all, I just introduced some kid to the wonderful world of corruption and bribery—actually, let's be honest, that wasn't his first time on that carousel. I looked back at Aries. Her pink hair was flowing gently with the breeze. Her large, brown eyes were filled with curiosity—and maybe confusion—and it struck me. Aries was very attractive, but she was also very shy—maybe insecure too, so her standards were probably low.

"Hey, how do you feel about Natsu?" I asked her.

"Natsu? D-Dragneel?"

"Yeah, I mean he's a nice guy, and if you guys had kids, they would be guaranteed to carry on that pink hair. You know? Genetics."

"Natsu- Kids-" She stammered, and her face turned extremely red. I only saw a glimpse of this though, because she quickly looked down and began to mumble. Oh no, I'm losing her! I quickly tried to come up with reasons for her to date Natsu, and panicking, I just started blurting out words in my head. 'Funny.' 'Loyal.' 'Spaghetti.' She suddenly looked up at me, and this reignited my faith in my match making abilities. Like, did I seriously just convince someone to listen to a dating prospect telepathically? The short answer was no. I quickly realized this when I saw that her eyes were focused on something behind me, and following her gaze, I saw the tall, orange haired figure approaching. When did this park get so popular?

"And what are you two lovely ladies talking about?" Loke asked. If possible, Aries turned even redder. I, however, brushed off the comment easily. Don't get me wrong, Loke's hot, but he's also a huge flirt.

"Italian food." I replied. I like to try and catch him off guard sometimes.

"Well then, may I offer some Italian words? _Non pensavo di poter provare un sentimento così profondo prima di incontrarti._" He said, holding Aries chin in his hand, his face centimeters from hers. Damn, that was smooth. I mean, seriously, picking women up is an art, and well, Loke is an artist.

"I-I-I have to go home. Sorry!" She squealed, and she seemed to disappear in instant. Her redness was off the charts.

"Geez Loke, way to scare her off." I laughed, playfully punching him in the arm.

"Well, now you and I are all alone, beautiful." He said and pulled me into an embrace.

"Yeah, no." I laughed, returning his hug. While he was an unforgivable flirt, he was also one of the best guys I knew and one of my closest friends. Seriously, he's like in the top ten. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"I know! I've been getting so many more hours at work, and I've been working on my dissertation; I can hardly do anything. The women in this town are going crazy."

"Someone needs to get on top of that. This town needs a hero, Loke."

"I am the hero this town needs." He laughed, "The Lion Man."

"Oh my god, we should get you a spotlight, so that when a woman is lonely, they can point it to the sky, and you'll be all like 'I'm here to save the day.'"

"Can I have a utility belt that has tools for me to help them?"

"Ew, gross!"

"Not like that, Lucy; although, it's nice to see where your head is." He chuckled. I rolled my eyes at this. "I meant like wine and chocolate."

"Well, okay, as long as we keep it PG-13."

"I can't keep any promises."

"You whore," I laughed. He seemed unabashed by this. "So what are you up to?"

"I was actually on my way to grab some coffee before work. There's this great place around the corner. Wanna join?" He asked, and I looked over at the puddle that had once been my popsicle, allowing it make my decision for me.

"Sounds good!" I said excitedly. This enthusiasm was partly based in spending time with a friend, but to be honest, it also had a lot to do with the fact that I knew I could get him to buy my coffee for me. I mean, who can be apathetic about free stuff?

The coffee shop called 'Love & Lucky' was, as Loke said, just around the corner. I seriously felt like I only took a few steps before we arrived, and as expected, he insisted on paying for my drink. You see, he has this thing about girls paying that I like to use to my advantage. Anyways, I happily sipped away at my caramely, chocolaty caffeinated beverage, which, let's be honest, is more of a dessert. Loke, on the other hand, drank his coffee with just a hint of cream; he's classy that way, and presumably, that's how he likes his women. Gross. As we sat, Loke caught me up with all of his work gossip. For some reason, I was as invested in it as he was. Like, Linda said _that_, and Josh has no idea what he's doing with his life. It wasn't long before our conversation shifted to Fairy Tail.

I may have forgotten to mention that Loke is a regular of the bar. I don't mean to make it sound like being a part of Fairy Tail's a big deal—like, being in a secret club or something, but it kind of is. Loke, in particular, has been a constant feature for as long as I could remember, even back when Natsu and I had to use fake IDs to get in. Surprisingly, he was much more of a man whore then. He even tried to take me home a couple of times and not joking around like he does now. This obviously never happened, and he became a good friend instead and an awesome beer pong partner to boot. Seriously, we're unstoppable together, unless we play against an attractive girl—then I have to carry the team. Like, one time we played against Cana, and she used her unbelievable cleavage to distract Loke as he made shots; he missed every one. It was pathetic, but thinking about it now, he may have done it on purpose. If anything, it was an excuse to blatantly stare at Cana's boobs. This was the same night Natsu drank himself under the table, literally. I had to drag him home, because for some reason, it was my responsibility. Like, 'oh, let's leave this one to Lucy.' Whatever.

"Hey, did you hear Mira and Freed are getting married?" Loke asked me, steering the conversation away from times he'd cost me drinking games.

"Yeah, I'm kind of in the wedding." I replied. Translation: I'm kind of a big deal. "That happened like two weeks ago, Loke. Keep up."

"Am I really that behind? That's two weeks of love to catch up on, Lucy."

"As long as you're paying." I laughed, "And you would have known all about Mira and Freed if you showed up that night."

"I couldn't get off of work."

"Yeah, I guess it was a Tuesday."

"I almost forgot about that Tuesday theory of yours." He laughed.

"Not really a theory when it's a known fact."

"Apparently. Well, what else have I missed out on? Anything new?" He asked. Translation: any new, cute girls I can seduce?

"Sorry, Loke, no one you'd be interested in."

"I'll be the judge of that."

"Seriously, pickings are not ripe."

"Well, you've never let me down before—Still, I think it's about time I made an appearance at Fairy Tail."

"Yes! Finally!"

"It has been far too long since I've seen everyone." He smiled, "But enough about me. Lucy, what have you been up to?"

"Oh, you know me- Actually, I'm trying to hook Natsu up with somebody." I stated, and it suddenly struck me. "Hey, you'd know some desperate girls!"

"Firstly, I take offense to that. Secondly, what are you talking about?"

"Haven't you heard? I'm a matchmaker now. Actually, I was just about to close the deal with Natsu and Aries when you so rudely interrupted-"

"What?!" Loke asked exasperatedly, "Aries and Natsu? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No."

"I don't think twelve no's was really necessary, and they'd be really cute together. I mean, opposites attract, right? The really shy girl paired off with the much more—uh- extraverted boy. It's sweet."

"Just think about it, Lucy."

"I did. They're both very nice, go to Fairy Tail, have pink hair-"

"Really think about it." He implored, "Aries would have a heart attack the first week of the relationship, and I know for a fact that Natsu wouldn't be interested."

"Well, why not?"

"Don't worry about it."

"What is it?!"

"Nothing- Does Natsu even know you're setting him up?" He asked.

"Not exactly."

"He probably doesn't want—"

"He does; he just doesn't know it yet." I countered.

Loke laughed, "Well, you know best, Lucy, and I know that there's some reason you paired those two together."

"Well, the Natsu Dating Scale measures a female's physical attractiveness versus her feelings of self-worth."

"So you're basically looking for hot girls with low self-esteem?"

"Exactly. Points added if she also likes fire."

"Sounds like my kind of match maker." Loke winked.

"Oh my god, I should set you up!"

"You should." Loke stated which took me aback only slightly. "My dating pool has grown rather small."

"Really? You mean it?" I asked maybe too enthusiastically, because he looked slightly scared. Naturally he quickly regained his composure; however, I couldn't contain my excitement. Despite my success with Mira, Erza and Levy had asked me not to intrude on their loves lives.

"Sure. Like I said, you know best. God knows how many times you've helped me." Loke said, and a myriad of memories flashed through my mind. Like the time this girl he was seeing totally had crazy eyes. It took me forever to convince him of this fact, and by the time I did, she had already trashed his apartment.

"I do what I can."

"And I appreciate it. May I just ask that Aries not be included in your matchmaking? She's delicate."

"That depends, how delicate?"

"Like a flower."

I giggled, "Fine, Aries is out, but I want to know how delicate I am."

"You? You're more of a cactus."

"What?" I laughed. This was too good.

"Because you're a great conversation starter, can be prickly, but have a squishy inside."

"You've thought about this way too much."

"Is there really a limit on how much time you can spend comparing your friend to native desert plants? Should there be?"

"I'd say an hour. Two hours tops."

"You're just upset that you're a cactus."

"I am! I want to be something pretty."

"Oh, Lucy, cacti are actually quite beautiful, and I'm not only using you as a representative of the population. Trust me."

"Yeah, I'm sure." I huffed. Loke simply chuckled, checking the time on his watch.

"Well, I have to head to work, but, as always, it was pleasure." Loke kissed my hand, "And I'm looking forward to our date."

"Your date! I'm setting you up with a person who's not me!" I called after him as he left. If he heard what I said, he completely ignored it. Whatever. My eyes returned their focus to the table I was sitting in, and I noticed the pot filled with green stubs, each topped with a red dot, that is, a tiny red flower. "Cactus, huh?"


	4. Chapter 4

**I won't be able to post next week, so this is a bit early. Enjoy:)**

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Even though it had only been a week, I had already found Loke a few dating prospects; of course, they were plenty of options, but that wasn't really the problem, was it? You see, there are two types of people who need help with their love lives; there are the Casanovas, and the Just Friends. The Casanovas have no problem attracting members of the opposite sex, but the types of the relationship they pursue are usually shallow. They're the love 'em and leave 'em type, if you know what I mean. The Just Friends, on the other hand, do not pursue shallow relationships, but their problem lies in attracting a member of the opposite sex. As a matchmaker, it is important to distinguish between these types early on. I, for one, label everyone I come into contact with, and some people are easier than others. Loke, for instance, is obviously a Casanova; I actually have to weed through girls for him.

You see, I was having lunch with Natsu at this awesome Thai place. They have great curry—Anyways, the waitress overheard me talk about my matchmaking and Loke, and she begged me to set them up. She literally groveled on her knees for a date with the guy. At the time, I promised I would, mostly because it was awkward, but also because she got us some free pot stickers; however, to be honest, that date is not probably going to happen. This desperation also seemed to annoy Natsu, so maybe I should strike that particular characteristic as a factor on the Natsu Dating Scale. Oh, well. I skipped along the pavement towards my apartment, enjoying beautiful day outside. Rays of sunlight flickered through the tree branches, and the melodic sound of birds chirping seemed to serenade me.

"I wonder what birds would say if we could understand them." I mused.

"Somebody fuck me?" Natsu suggested. I love that he never questioned me. Like, he just goes along with it. Why aren't more people like that?

"That's probably right."

"Yeah, well, birds are sluts." He chuckled.

"Instead of throwing bread crumbs, maybe we should start throwing condoms." I laughed, pausing to open the door to my apartment. We stepped inside, and Natsu, being way too comfortable at my place, headed straight for my bedroom; he liked my super soft bed. Personally, having passed out on his bed in the past, I had to agree that mine was pretty great; in fact, it was almost a paradise compared to the hard futon he owned. It probably didn't help that he just laid it out on the floor either, without a frame or anything. I mean, that can't be good for your back. I've told him that much before, but he just shrugs and abuses best friend privileges with my bed.

"Hey, Lucy, what's that?" Natsu asked me as we stepped into my room; he was pointing at a folder on my super soft bed that was labeled with his name. I quickly realized that it was my match making file, and that he would be very unhappy to see this. For a few seconds, we simply stared at each other. Mentally, I was trying to communicate with Natsu that he should ignore it. Like, 'curiosity killed the cat, you know?' However, I could tell he was trying to communicate with me that he doesn't care about cats right now, and he wouldn't leave it alone. Man, we knew each other too well. It was a split second before we both jumped for it, knocking elbows in the process.

"Natsu, just leave it alone!" I yelped, ignoring the pain radiating down my arm as I brushed the file with the ends of my fingers.

"Not gonna happen." Natsu replied. His hand was covering my face in an attempt to push me away.

"Seriously, it's not a big deal!" I said; although, it came out muffled. I grabbed the characteristic scarf he always wore, and began wildly moving my legs, causing my knee to collide with his thigh.

"Ow- Lucy!" He grunted, and it was at this moment that I seized my chance to grab the folder and run; however, he grabbed my arm before I could slip away and easily overpowered me, pinning me down with one arm as he snatched the file away with the other.

"Don't look so smug." I told him, referring to the self-satisfied grin on his face, and I continued fighting back, squirming beneath him so that he wouldn't get a chance to read the contents. This, coupled with the precarious placement of our bodies, caused us to fall off of my bed.

"What-"

"Just as planned!" I yelled out as I landed on top of him, and I grabbed the file from his hand. Yet just as quickly as that happened, he pinned me down once again. This time, though, he sat on my stomach to keep me from getting up.

"You're not going anywhere." He laughed.

"Natsu, I just ate!" I complained, trying to push him off of me. He merely smirked as he tore the file from my fingers.

"We could've done this the easy way."

"You literally never gave me an option."

"Well, you were being so weird about it; I knew it was something good." He explained, opening the file. I wriggled beneath him to no effect; instead, I watched his face scrunched up reading the contents.

"Look, don't be mad-"

"What's this? The Natsu Dating Scale?"

"I-It's nothing-"

"I'm confused. Why would you need this?" He asked; although, a few seconds later comprehension dawned on his face. I watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose; a habit of his that signaled deep thought. Needless to say, I hardly ever got to see it. "You're planning on setting me up."

"No, not really." I answered, even though it clearly wasn't a question. His eyes narrowed in my direction. "Okay, just a little."

"A little? Does that mean you were gonna have me date a little person?" He asked seriously, and I couldn't contain my laughter; the concerned look on his face was just too much.

"Are you serious, Natsu?" I asked between laughs; however, I knew that he was, and he continued to look at me with an annoyed expression. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make it seem like Natsu is stupid or something, but I can understand why you'd think that. You see, he has a tendency to just blurt out whatever's on his mind without any real thought, and he has some really random gaps in his general knowledge. Like how he used to think sea horses were mythical creatures until we visited an aquarium last year. However, Natsu is smart, in a completely Natsu way that is. I mean, he is really good at reading people, and he is also a chemistry major, a pretty good one at that; although, it is kind of hard to take it seriously when his primary academic motivation is, as he says, to make things go 'boom.'

"Whatever. You're an intelligent bird according to Erza."

I gasped, genuinely offended, "You're an intelligent bird!"

"Hey, don't turn this on me! You're the one trying to set me up behind my back!"

"And what's really so wrong about that?!"

"Uh—I asked you not to, Lucy. Usually that means _don't _do it."

"You're the one that said I should get a hobby!" I countered, finally mustering the strength to push him off of me. He exaggerated his fall to the utmost of his abilities, hitting the ground with a yelp and allowing his limbs to spread across the floor so that they took up as much room as possible.

"Yeah, but I meant like boxing or origami—"

"Like I have the patience for origami-"

"So that means boxing's still on the table?!" He asked enthusiastically, giving me a small punch on my forearm. This immediately led to mental images of Natsu training me in a Rocky Balboa-esque montage—drinking a glass of raw eggs, running up stairs, being chased around by some sort of monster.

"No way!" I declared, punching him back with much more force than I intended. What can I say? I'm heavy handed.

"Ow—Look, I only said that, because you always complain about how you have nothing to do and you're always bored and stuff. I didn't mean you should mess with people's lives." He said, lifting himself off of the floor into a sitting position.

"Natsu, we already discussed this, and you said I should do what I want!" I said, annoyed that he was reusing an argument.

"No, I didn't-"

"You did! The night Mira and Freed got engaged—"

"I said 'you're gonna _do_ what you want!'"

I huffed, "Whatever- I don't know why this bothers you so much anyways! Seriously, you said I should get a hobby; I did, and this way, I'm actually helping other people-"

"Helping?!" He laughed.

"Yes, _helping_! I have a system!"

"What system? The Natsu Dating Scale?!"

"Yes! I 'm gonna find you the perfect girl! Someone awesome like me, but not too much like me—Because we're _way _too far into the platonic feelings area of the Rachel/ Ross Measure-"

Natsu audibly groaned, "You've explained this so many times before! I get it!"

"Well, sorry! I just wanted to help you get some!"

"Lucy, I know that you think that you know what's best for everyone, but have you ever thought that maybe you don't."

"No. Never." I answered honestly; the pause that followed this statement was excruciatingly long. Somehow, this evolved into Natsu and I having some sort of staring contest; each of us daring the other to be the one to speak first.

"Okay, okay." He said finally, once again pinching the bridge of his nose; his voice sounded tense, "I don't want to fight about this anymore. Lucy, you're gonna do what you want, but would ya' just leave me out of it?"

"Fine," I sighed, "But don't come running to me when you're old and have fifty cats."

"Why would I come runnin' to you? Cats are awesome." Natsu grinned, and just like that, it was like our little argument never happened; of course, this is usually how it goes down with best friends, isn't it? I mean, one minute you're having a petty argument, the next minute you're laughing about something stupid; I call it the Merry War Effect. You see, the closer two people are, the more likely they are to be vocal with their disagreements. This can be observed through the expression 'bicker like an old married couple.' Translation: Natsu and I are both incredibly stubborn. The Merry War Effect just means we can act like nothing happened afterwards, and I have it admit that it is a skill.

We continued to talk about cats for a rather long time; after all, they are Natsu's favorite animal. Specifically, he described in great detail how he was going to turn his fifty cats into a mini army and then train them to attack Gray and Gajeel; which, I have to admit, is a clever use of his resources. However, it took much longer than I'd like to admit to convince him that he couldn't name all of them 'Igneel,' and I had to remind him that his cats would eat him the second he died. He insisted that his cats would never do that, and instead, they would be trained to find and inform me of his death.

"At my funeral, I demand that the Igneel's carry my coffin, and you have to jump on it and yell 'take me with him!'" Natsu stated, and my stomach hurt from how much I was laughing.

"Natsu—stop—I can't breathe-"

"Hey, I'm just tellin' you now, so you have no excuse."

"You won't even know if I do or not."

"Well, I'll haunt you if you don't."

"You wouldn't even be a scary ghost, Natsu; you'd be like Casper." I laughed.

"Hey, I'd be scary!"

"You would just follow me around and tell me jokes— Actually, it wouldn't be much different than now."

"No, I'd be really scary; you know you don't want me haunting you, Lucy! I would totally mess up your stuff and not let you sleep-"

"Again, no different than now." I said, and I couldn't help but laugh at the look on Natsu's face.

"Brat."

I giggled, "I'm teasing; you would be such a scary ghost."

"Damn right." Natsu said proudly, "Scarier than Gray- So scary they'd call me Demon Lord Dragneel."

"Well- I don't know about all that-"

"Say it." Natsu ordered, and before I could stop him, he was, once again, sitting on top of me.

"What?!"

"Call me Demon Lord Dragneel, Lucy!"

"No way!"

"Say it!" He demanded, and he started tickling my sides. My greatest weakness.

"I- Natsu!"

"I'm not gonna stop 'til you say it."

"Youredemonlordragneel-"

"What was that?"

"You—You're Demon Lord Dragneel!"

"There, that wasn't so hard." Natsu grinned; although it really was and, thankfully, the tickling subsided.

"You can get off me now." I told him; he merely shrugged.

"But you're comfy."

"That doesn't mean you can sit right on my stomach!" I groaned, trying to push him off of me.

"I think that's exactly what it means."

"Seriously, Natsu, I just ate!"

"You'll live."

"Could you just—Hey what's that?" I asked him, referring to the distinctive paper edges sticking out of his pocket. Ironically enough, it was this that caused him to get off of me.

"Oh—That—That's nothing—" Natsu stammered, and I have to admit that watching him stumble over his words was unsettling; that is, he usually said just whatever popped into his head.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned.

"Yeah—everything's fine—It's just-"

"Natsu?"

"Look, it's not a big deal." He sighed, pulling the two tickets out of his pocket. "My friend's cousin's roommate was lookin' to get rid of them—It's in Oak Town, so it's close by. And I remembered you liked it, so I thought we could go…"

"_Cirque du_ Soleil?! We're gonna watch _Cirque du_ Soleil?!" I squealed, snatching the tickets from his hands. I looked them over, trying to absorb all of the information and feeling genuinely disappointed that I was going to have to wait three weeks. Suddenly, I turned to look at Natsu. "But you think it's stupid."

"Yeah, but you don't."

"Aw, you're so sweet!" I said, roughly patting his cheek.

Natsu rolled his eyes, "I was actually thinking we could grab dinner before. You know, I heard there's this place with great curry in Oak Town-"

"Yes! That'd be so fun! We can get all dressed up!"

"Let's do it! I haven't worn my grown-up clothes in a while." Natsu said enthusiastically. His 'grown-up clothes' referred to a specific outfit of slacks, a button-up, and of course his scarf.

"We're so classy! I can't wait!" I smiled. Three weeks couldn't pass soon enough.


End file.
